Away Laughing on a Fast Camel Page 16
lurgified • The eagle-eyed amongst you will know that this is an extension of a word I told you about before. Lurgy. To have the lurgy is to either have a physical or mental illness. So lurgy could be to have the flu but it could also mean to have “stupid brain.” As in when you see a gorgey bloke and become lurgified, i.e., touched by the lurgy.
milky pops • A soothing hot milk drink, when you are a little person. (No, not an elf, I mean a child). Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, when you are a child, people give words endings to make them more cozy. Chocolate is therefore obviously choccy woccy doo dah. Blanket is blankin’. Tooth is tushy peg. Easy is easy peasey lemon squeasey. If grown-ups ever talk like this, do not hesitate to kill them.
nervy spaz • Nervous spasm. Nearly the same as a nervy b. (nervous breakdown) or an F.T. (funny turn), only more spectacular on the physical side.
nippy noodles • Instead of saying “Good heavens, it’s quite cold this morning,” you say “Cor—nippy-noodles!!” English is an exciting and growing language. It is. Believe me. Just leave it at that. Accept it.
nub • The heart of the matter. You can also say gist and thrust. This is from the name for the center of a wheel where the spokes come out. Or do I mean hub? Who cares. I feel a dance coming on.
nunga-nungas • Basoomas. Girl’s breasty business. Ellen’s brother calls them nunga-nungas because he says that if you get hold of a girl’s breast and pull it out and then let it go—it goes nunga-nunga-nunga. As I have said many, many times with great wisdomosity, there is something really wrong with boys.
Pantalitzer • A terrifying Czech-made doll that sadistic parents (my vati) buy for their children, presumably to teach them early on about the horror of life.
I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but I am not reassured that Eastern Europeans really know how to have a laugh.
parky • Another jaunty word for nippy noodles.
pash • Passion. As in “I had a real pash on him until I saw his collection of vole droppings.” Or, in Masimo’s case: “He is my one and only super-duper pash.” That is official.
pensioner • In England we give very old people some money so that they can buy thick spectacles and snug incontinent pants and biscuits. This is called their pension money.
pingy pongoes • A very bad smell. Usually to do with farting.
polo neck • Polo neck is the same as a turtleneck. Having a turtleneck has never been a big selling point for me…but have it your own way if you LUUURVE turtles so much.
rate • To fancy someone.
R.E. • Religious education.
Robin Reliant • Oh, please please don’t ask me about this. Oh very well. You know how English people keep inventing things? For no reason? Well, we do. There’s always some complete twit from a village called Little Beddingham or Middle Wallop—anyway, somewhere where there are no shops or television (or a decent lunatic asylum), and the complete twit is called Nigel or Terence and he invents things like a tiny shower for sparrows, or an ostrich eggcup. A nose picker, etc. You get the idea. Anyway, one of these types called Robin invented a car that only had three wheels. A three-wheeled car. Er—that’s it. That was his brilliant invention. No reason for it. It’s a bit like that bloke who invented the monocycle. All they do is encourage clowns. They should be stopped really, but I am vair vair tired.
schiessenhausen • Quite literally (if you happen to be a Lederhosen type person) a house that you poo in. (Schiesse is poo and hausen house). Poo house. Lavatory. Or restroom as you Hamburger-a-gogo types say. No one knows why. Oh no, hang on, I think I do know. When you all lived in the Wild West in wooden shacks, one room was both your bedroom and your lavatory. Cowboys don’t mind that sort of thing. In fact they love it. But I don’t.
Sellotape • Sellotape is a clear sticky tape. Usually used for sticking bits of paper to other bits of paper but can be used for sticking hair down to make it flat. (Once I used it for sticking Jas’s mouth shut when she had hiccups. I thought it might cure them. It didn’t, but it was quite funny, anyway.)
Sherpa Tensing • When English people were stopped from conquering places by spoilsports who said “Clear off, this is our land,” we had to have plan B. Plan B was to conquer other things like mountains. English blokes began hurling themselves up Everest like knobbly-kneed lemmings. The Everest folk got sick of them falling off or wandering around saying, “Where am I?” and blundering into their villages day and night in unnecessary anoraks. So they (the local folk called sherpas) decided to lead them up Everest just to get rid of them. And the head sherpa type bloke was called Sherpa Tensing.
smalls • An ironic term for underpants. Well, ironic in my vati’s case. If his underpants were called massives, that would make more sense.
tig • Apparently you call this tag. I won’t ask why because I am full of exhausterosity and also want to go to the piddly diddly department.
Water Board • A bunch of blokes who look after the nation’s reservoirs and water supply.
wet • A drippy, useless, nerdy idiot. Lindsay.
whelk boy • A whelk is a horrible shellfish thing that only the truly mad eat. Slimy and mucuslike. Whelk boy is a boy who kisses like a whelk, i.e., a slimy mucus kisser. Erlack a pongoes.
work experience • Essentially this means that teenagers who are happily filling in time at school, you know, painting their nails, chatting and snoozing, etc., are forced to go to a shop or hospital ward or office or science lab and spend a day there, so that they know what it is like to work. As I have said many times to my mutti, I am far, far too busy to work. And anyway I know what work is like; it is crap.
About the Author
LOUISE RENNISON is the internationally best-selling author of the angst-filled confessions of Georgia Nicolson, which include ANGUS, THONGS AND FULL-FRONTAL SNOGGING, a Michael L. Printz Honor Book; and New York Times best sellers ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I’M NOW THE GIRLFRIEND OF A SEX GOD; KNOCKED OUT BY MY NUNGA-NUNGAS and DANCING IN MY NUDDY-PANTS. Louise lives in Brighton, the San Francisco of England (apart from the sun, Americans, the Golden Gate Bridge, and earthquakes).
Visit Georgia at www.georgianicolson.com
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confessions of GEORGIA NICOLSON
ANGUS, THONGS AND
FULL-FRONTAL SNOGGING
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I’M NOW
THE GIRLFRIEND OF A SEX GOD
KNOCKED OUT BY MY NUNGA-NUNGAS
DANCING IN MY NUDDY-PANTS
AWAY LAUGHING ON A FAST CAMEL
THEN HE ATE MY BOY ENTRANCERS
STARTLED BY HIS FURRY SHORTS
Credits
Painting detail © 2004 by Kam Mak
Cover © 2005 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
Copyright
AWAY LAUGHING ON A FAST CAMEL. Copyright © 2004 by Louise Rennison. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub © Edition MAY 2008 ISBN: 9780061975332
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